Being
a cute girl of 18, I passed II PUC with average marks. Even the CET marks
was very poor. My dad was totally unhappy with my marks. But he
brushed it aside. “Look, Geeta, you will get married and settle to be a
homemaker. A BA or BSc should be sufficient. With 68 % in PUC you
will easily get admission to B.Sc. So join for B.Sc. and complete it.
You will be 21 by then. Don’t worry. You will get a good groom.
I will marry off you immediately after B.Sc. Okay?" he said half
mockingly. I got annoyed by his talk of marriage. But I did not
have much defence at that moment, what with my poor marks.
I
was quite beautiful with a fair complexion, good features and hair upto my
waist when braided. Much of my time was spent in my looking after my hair
– comb it, oil it, unplait it, replait it, comb it and so on. And the
remaining time was spent on reading English novels. My mother also
scolded me several times for fussing over my hair so much and spending time
reading novels. But I did not listen. So my concentration on studies
waned. And the result was there for all to see. Even my only
brother, Rahul, two years younger and just finished 10th standard with 96%
teased me over my fussing on my looks.
But
I had a dream of big things – engineer or doctor. With this marks, it was
almost impossible to get a seat in either of them. I was crestfallen.
The next day, I pleaded with my father. “Appa, give me a chance.
I would like to go to atleast engineering – whatever subject is
available. I promise that I will concentrate and do well."
“Look,
I am not rich enough to get you a payment seat. Your rank is too poor to
get a seat in Bangalore for any subject except Civil Engineering (There were
not many takers for Civil Engineering those days. The demand picked up
steeply in mid and end 90s). No question of sending you outstation to
hostel and all. I cannot afford it and I know you will while away time
doing little. No point dear. Better you join for BSc. You do not
have to study too hard. You can comb your hair eight times a day and read
a dozen Harold Robins a week. And still get average marks. You can lead a
jolly life. Why do you bother?"
“No
appa. I do not mind joining even Civil Engineering. I know many girls are
studying it nowadays. And I promise that I will stop reading novels
during the semester. And I will not fuss over my hair so much.
Promise".
My
father was a senior Mechanical Engineer in one of the leading public sector
industries in Bangalore. Ours is a traditional brahmin family.
Mother is a devout housewife. My father is a loving person
though very strict in some ways. He was much more strict with my brother,
Rahul. Now, in front of my mother he said “Okay, Geeta, I will allow you
to take Civil Engineering in Bangalore on some specific terms. If accepted, BE.
Else, B.Sc. Choice is yours." His tone told both of us that his decision
will be unalterable. With alarm, I asked him to spell out his terms.
“No
reading except that required for your course. No roaming around with
friends. You have to come back home direct from college. Read,
write, read, write – that will be your routine. If you do not get 75% in
both of your first two semesters, I will stop the Engineering non-sense and you
will sit at home. Not even BSc after that."
A
big bomb indeed. But I had to endure it. I meekly nodded my head.
“Look,
dear. Your nodding will not be sufficient, young lady. Once you
join Engineering you will have to achieve big. Just passing or repeat
appearances in some papers – no such thing is acceptable. And it will be
my duty to put you in the straight path to achieve big. Else an ordinary
B.Sc. would be good for you. I know your habits. It will not be
easy to give them up. So, listen to my one more condition."
“What?"
I asked with anxiety.
“Your
habit of messing with your hair cannot be easily given up. It needs a
drastic action. If you really want to do engineering your hair will have
to go."
I
could not believe my ears. What is appa talking about? That too in our family
where we do not even trim ladies’ hairs, let alone cut it off. And he is
suggesting ‘it will have to go’. What does he mean by it? Just
shorten it or shave it off? I shuddered for a while thinking a bald me. I
asked him “You mean bald?"
He
nonchalantly said “Yes, why not? And of course later a boycut."
Amma
smiled at appa’s statement. ‘Dear, are you seriously suggesting a tonsure
for her?’ she asked appa. Appa replied “Yes, Janu (short for Janaki, my
mother’s name). I am not joking. But precious time spent on hair
instead of studies costs the youth itself. I am not suggesting any
murder. Many teenage girls get their heads shaved on one pretext or the
other. Many girls keep a boy cut or bob cut. Are they not living good
life?"
Amma
said “May be you are right. But I suggest that you think again on this."
But
appa would not budge. “I have thought clearly and listen to my condition
carefully. If she wants to enter engineering course, apart from what I
have already told she will have to do this. Immediately after getting
admitted to the course, we will take her to Tirupati, get her head shaved off.
Thereafter, she will keep a short boycut till end of second semester.
If she gets minimum of 75% in each of them, she can start growing her
hair without further cutting. If she fails to get that much in either of
the semesters, immediately she will stop going to Engineering college, sit at
home and start growing hair. She can read whatever novel she wants to
read. Two years later she will be married off. By then she will
have enough hair to braid, so no problem. Though her counselling for
engineering seat is a month away in end June, only 5 days are left for entering
BSc. So think well and give your decision in a couple of days. If
she wants to keep her long hair NOW, then let her join B.Sc. If she wants
to study Engineering, let her have short hair for a while. The choice is
hers"
I was not left with much choice. Somehow
I was too enamoured of Engineering course to just give it up because of losing
hair for now. Going to BSc. would make me feel too small in front of my
friends. What to do? Boy cut? May be I will pull it off. But why Tirupati
gundu?
Next day evening I asked him the same. “Appa, why do you want me to have
Tirupati gundu? A boycut in parlour should be okay, isn’t it?"
“What? Beauty Parlour? You must be joking. Listen, dear daughter. Even
after gundu, you will have boy cut, not in parlour but in barber shop! Do you
think I am a fool to encourage squalor? A haircut in barbershop will cost
20 rupees and in a beauty parlour it will cost 100 rupees or even more.
Add to it all other junk in parlour – pedicure, manicure, etc. etc. You
will learn less of Civil engineering and more of beauty products."
“And you asked about Tirupati gundu, isn’t it?" he continued. “See,
we are a religious family. So far, we never cut your hair. I do not want
such nice, long and virgin hair going to the dust bin in a barber shop. Let it
go to temple. And a gundu will be good for you spiritually. If you do it
with devotion Grace of God will be bestowed upon you making you more
responsible. So gundu is a must" he said firmly.
I did not have any answer for that. I slept over it on that day.
Next day, I went to meet Rekha. She is one of my best friends and
is a classmate since my primary school. We studied PU also together.
Now something about her family is in order.
Her family consists of Rekha’s father’s parents, her parents, her elder sister
Radhika three years elder to her and her younger brother two years younger than
her. Both are very good girls and are very well behaved and have helping
nature. Especially Radhika, with her mature behaviour, is the darling of
their parents. She not only is very mature and responsible but also very
talkative and always makes others happy with her nice words and jokes.
In this family occasionally heads of all in the family including females are
shaved off in some temple for some vow. They did it once when Radhika
passed her 5th standard. Again after Rekha completed SSLC with very high
marks, i.e. in 1991, her entire family, including the females came back from
Tirupati with nice bald heads. At that time Radhika was to enter II BA.
I had made fun of Rekha’s and Radhika’s bald heads. They had taken
it sportively. In the two years since then the two girls had got back
about 18 inches of hair.
The two girls made frequent visits to my house and became friends with my mom.
Radhika’s good and friendly nature won over my mother. I respect Radhika
a lot. It was her association which taught me very good English, both
spoken and written. And it was her association that taught me how to
enjoy college life without becoming irresponsible.
Now Rekha had got very good marks in both PUC and CET. She was angling
for MBBS and she got it in one of the prestigious colleges of Banglore. I
told her about my predicament. She laughed at it. “I told you so many
times to concentrate on studies. You are brighter than me but wasted away
your time on silly things. I tell you that what your father is suggesting is
entirely sensible. Accept it, Geeta. You will do good."
“But, to go to engineering college with a gundu (bald) head? How is that
possible?"
“Look, Geeta, I also thought so before. But the gundu I had two years ago
changed my outlook. Believe me, it was very enjoyble. Go ahead and
accept it happily. You will be able to concentrate on studies much better
with no hair for a while. Even Radhika also said the same thing. Of
course, on a happy note, I will tease you a bit. But that is all in the
game. Do you know that both myself and Radhika are going for a repeat
gundu a couple of months from now? She has already started going to B.Ed.
classes. About a month after my MBBS classes start both of us will visit
Tirupati for the gundu. We are eagerly looking for it." I was
shocked once more. My dear Rekha is going to go to Medical College with
gundu head!
I lost the only hope I had of getting support for my opposition to gundu.
I came home and told mom about it. She said “Geeta, I also thought
over it. I think what appa says is correct. Better you agree for a
Tirupati gundu and boycut. You will look good and you will be able to
study better." Hearing her words floored me. I asked her why
she started supporting appa. She said in her mind she also wanted for a
long time that my head should go bald once, especially after seeing the
beautiful bald heads of Rekha and Radhika. But initially she thought that
Appa’s proposal was more a reaction on the spur of the moment. The moment
she saw that appa was serious about this she was very happy about it.
I thought for about an hour or so in the afternoon. Pull of Engineering
was proving too strong. Rekha is saying gundu is highly enjoyable.
At that moment I gave up. Okay. Let me experience it and get into
Engineering, I thought.
After Appa came home, I announced that I am agreeing for gundu and later
boycut, but I need to study Engineering. If it is Civil so be it.
Appa was very happy to hear it. Amma also smiled and stroked my
long hair fondly saying “Do not worry, dear. You will get back this hair
by the time you finish engineering. But do this happily and not with
tears." By now, I had given up. So there would be no point in
crying over it. Better take it with a smile. So I said, “Certainly,
Amma and Appa, I will do this happily". Immediately, Rahul, with a
big grin, pulled my braid sharply as he often does. I shouted at him
“Leave it, you monkey" with mock anger lightly slapping on his head.
He shouted back saying “Last chance, Akka!
The next day onwards, appa was at my back “Read this, write this, do this
calculation, do this essay" and so on. Even before my BE classes
started, appa was at me making me more capable in various faculties – good,
legible and fast writing, comprehension, mathematics, etc. And if I am a
successful and much sought after civil engineer today, I owe it to my appa’s
strict handling of me those days. He even told me once “Look, Geeta, the
game has started and I am not the one to quit. You have to do what I
say." I understood his seriousness.
Joining B.Sc. was dropped. And my counselling was held on the last day of
June. I got Civil Engineering in an ordinary Bangalore college. I
had to travel 12 km in college bus everyday in one direction. I got
admitted to the college the next day itself. The college would open in
six weeks time.
Three days later, Friday evening we left for Tirupati. Appa put a bomb on
Thursday. Five weeks before, during the discussion about my haircut, amma
had privately asked him whether she also could go bald along with their
daughter? And why not all the four?. Appa was dumbstuck for a while at
her strange request but could gauge that she was serious about it. Once,
secretly he had dreamt of her having a nice boycut. Who knows? He may be
able to achieve it now.
Appa told her he did not have any problem with that. Would her in-laws
(i.e. his own parents, currently living with his elder brother in Mysore) agree
for that? She said she would check up in the morning. And she did
check up. Ajji (my grandmother and m-i-l to my mother) listened to what
all happened, agreed that my hair could go considering modern ways but Amma
should not cut her hair. Ajji had other plans. Ramu’s (her elder
son) two sons would be married in the next three-four years and she wanted the
whole family (my grandparents, their two sons, their wives, the sons and wives
of their first son, the two children of their second son) to visit Prayag and
the married women to offer Venidaan (with full mundan) and the other gents and
myself only mundan. My mother normally respected her m-i-l and did not
cross her decisions. But this time she pleaded with her that she really wanted
to go bald and she would grow back hair for the Prayag visit which anyway was
about 4 years away. She thought over it and finally agreed with the
condition that my mother should grow the hair to a braidable length in the next
three years. Also, we all should go to Mysore immediately after our
Tirupati balding to show it to them. So all the four of us – Appa, Amma,
myself and Rahul – would become bald in Tirupati. Amma had hair upto her
midback. I saw a rare happiness in Amma’s face. I asked her about it.
She shyly said that she had harboured the idea of becoming a baldy for a
long time but did not have the guts or occasion to bring it up. Now this
is happening at a happy time of you entering Engineering. I asked her
whether she would grow back upto her current length or keep cutting it.
She said that as per Ajji’s diktat she should grow it back. “We
will see that later. First let me enjoy the bald head for a while"
she shyly added with a giggle. Hearing that from Amma I lost whatever
hesitation I had and started looking forward to my tonsure eagerly just like
Amma and Rekha.
In Tirupati we all went to Kalyanakatta, got 4 tickets. At that time
there were no female barbers and unlike some modern chicks, none of us really
bothered about getting tonsured by male barbers. We four were distributed
between two barbers. In one queue myself and Appa were there and in the
other Amma and Rahul were there. In each queue three people were there
ahead of us. In my queue, two gents and a young lady – apparently wife of
one of the gents – were there, all for clean tonsure. In Amma’s quere
there were four people – two gents and two girls of my age. All of them
were going to become bald. In 15 minutes my father’s turn came after the
lady rose up bald and in about 5 minutes he also rose with bald head. Now
I sat for my tonsure – first in my life time (Neither I nor Amma was tonsured
in childhood also). I glanced at the other queue. The two gents had
gone away, one girl was standing bald and the other was being shorn bald.
My head was being wetted and massaged by the barber. I tried to
concentrate and enjoy my tonsure instead of looking at the other girl’s
tonsure. The barber bent my head down and I suddenly had a scraping
feeling from my crown towards my nape. Oh! What a nice feeling! In
quick strokes the feeling expanded in the back of my head and it started
feeling very cool. Now the barber pulled his blade from crown towards my
forehead. For the first time I saw my own wet hair falling to my lap in
front of my eyes! Next he bent my left ear and scraped behind it.
What a beautiful sensation it was! In a few strokes my left portion
was bald and in a few more strokes the right side also was bald. The
barber ran the blade all over my head again making it smooth. I rose up
caressing my bald head. Yes! What Rekha told is true. This tonsure
experience is really, really good! No wonder, she and her sister
are going to tonsure again this year. No wonder that the girl undergoing
tonsure in the next queue had that satisfied smile on her face! I already
started thinking about a possible repeat tonsure for myself like Rekha
When I rose, Rahul’s tonsure was also over and he also rose up.
Now my 41 year old beautiful mother sat there with her butt lenght hair
about to be shorn bald. She was beaming with joy. Looking at a bald
me she gave a wide grin. The barber wetted her hair and massaged it as
usual and tied her hair in two knots. He quickly got into the act – a
scrape starting from mom’s forehead to her crown sealed her ‘fate’. She
resolutely avoided giggling. So happy she seemed to be on getting shorn.
In the next three minutes she was completely bald with a smooth shining
pate – the barber ensured that with a repeat play of his razor.
Later
we all took bath, had darshan of the Lord and started our journey back to
Bangalore in the evening of Saturday. Appa asked mom to buy a scarf which
she resolutely denied – either for herself or me. “She is also happy
about her gundu and so am I. Let us both enjoy showing it off for a
while. No sky will fall. Isn’t it Geetu?" She asked for my support. And
I wholeheartedly supported her. And neither of us ever covered our heads.
And neither of us could desist from repeatedly stroking our own bald
heads and enjoying the sensation. And from then on both appa and amma
started calling me ‘bodi’ with affection. The epithet stuck and even
today I am known as ‘bodi’ or ‘bodi Geeta’ to my near and dear ones and in my
office even when I have sufficient hair.
As
per Ajji’s wish, on Sunday early morning we all went to Mysore to show our bald
heads to our grandparents, uncle Ramu, aunt Vasudha and their two sons – Kiran
26 and Varun 24. And Ajji was beaming with joy looking at her bald
daughter-in-law. She said that she never imagined that her d-i-l would
look so beautiful with a bald head. She also blessed me saying that I
look no less beautiful than Janu. Uncle, aunty and my cousins also
appreciated our looks. Then Ajji threw a surprise.
She
(though she is 75 and ajja is 78 they are very healthy and active) told us to
tag along with them to a prospective bride’s family. Around 10 o’clock,
the ten of us went to a house in three autorickshaws. The family welcomed
us. The bride’s name was Satyabhama, B.Sc., B.Ed., 22 and working as
school teacher. She had a brother Vijay 20 and a sister Lakshmi 18.
The family was a traditional family. They were happily surprised to
see a family of four bladies. Ajji proudly explained about our Tirupati
trip the previous day. Bhama’s mother was very happy. ‘Bhama and
Lakshmi also have Tirupati gundu vows. Bhama wanted to go bald
immediately after getting employed. Lakshmi wanted to go bald immediately
after getting a seat in Engineering College. But we restrained them from
executing the vows in view of marriage alliances for Bhama. Lakshmi is
still young and could wait till Bhama’s marriage is over’ the lady added.
Ajji said that she was happy about it but it will have to wait for some
years as our family has its own calendar. The alliance was accepted on
both sides. The marriage was fixed on 6th January 1994, Thursday.
We
returned to Bangalore the same evening. I was eager to show my bald head
to Rekha and Radhika. On Monday Rekha and Radhika came to my house,
ragged me nicely about my bald head, ragged my mom also a bit though with
enough respect. And we all had a good laugh with Rekha’s hands not
leaving my bald head. She and Radhika also started calling me ‘bodi’.
I saw the sheer love in them for me and accepted it happily.
Time
passed quickly. My studies with my father watching over me went on.
In about six weeks, all of us had grown about 3/4th inch of hair.
With my college to open on Aug 16th Monday, my father made a proposal on
14th – tomorrow would be my first visit to barbershop. I could get a
repeat tonsure and start going to engineering college a bald girl or I could start
off with the boycut. Of course with the hair length I have grown, the
boycut would be more of a military cut. Either of the two cuts is a must.
Choice is mine. Even if I chose bald, the next month’s cut would be a
military one. And a cut on the first Sunday of every month is a must
henceforth in the next year. Amma said a repeat bald is better since I
would be better off bald in the college beginning. And a military cut
during entry into college may look a bit punkish. Finally, I endorsed
Amma’s stand.